Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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