having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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