I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize