I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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