I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
