So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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