I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
why is half of my head shaved?
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