Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
