This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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