Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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