when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize