What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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