so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize