Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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