i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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