At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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