If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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