i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
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I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You pole danced in your parka.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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