Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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