I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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