Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
