She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
