And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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