all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
