you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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