Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize