I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.