plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you had me at cake vodka
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.