so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
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All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.