That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.