Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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