Christians are straight up FREAKS
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize