I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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