i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize