I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize