i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
