u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Everything about him screamed your future.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked