The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!