she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
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Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.