I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize