I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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