what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
