im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
