Little spoons don't ask big questions
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.