if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
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Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.