Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit