Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.