There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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