Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Enjoy the penises
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
