Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
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coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
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there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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