I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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