im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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