Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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