I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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