I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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