her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
