dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize