Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize